So I cut all my hair off. And that’s really all there is to it.
The sun is coming through the blinds. It rips apart the curtains, they have no use it seems. Illuminates the every hair on your head, highlights the softness of your face. You smile. You’re half asleep. I wrap my arms tighter around you and you mention how you wish you could stay like this forever. I exhale slowly, my stress melts into the mattress as the sun burns brighter. I’m cracking. The face I wear so proudly weighs like a burden on my shoulders. I prepared for this but not well enough. I never meant to care for you, this was just a little game. Now I’m stuck at square one wondering if we’ll play again.
Days pass. Sleepless nights drag on. Empty bottles become more sacred, we have little need for them now. Once a hushed secret now splayed open for the world to see but what of the man? He’s still coming around and sleeping in the same sheets as I am and I can’t help but feel more hollow, more alone, more used. Is it me? Is it my fault? You love him but you’ve never said anything of the like to me.
I’m done playing your silly games. I am weary of losing.